Many thing s are coming my way. Some good some bad. The outstanding ones are some what sad actually. First my gramps. My mum said 12 months, but just last week as we were sending my bro off to Tekong, she mentioned 12 weeks. Huh??!! Apparently the doc said that he's in the 4th stage of lung cancer and when he went for a scan, they found that he also has brain cancer. It's too advanced that chemo and radiotherapy will no longer cure him fully. But will only help him to live longer. Max 12 weeks.
At first I felt nothing. Like I was prepared for the worst. If he has to go, means that he has to. Now that I'm sitting here in my dark office, typing this out, I remember the fights he had gone through. When doc told us to say our goodbyes when he had his second heart attack, he fought so hard and got through it til now. Now this. I'm not sure how I should be feeling now.
Sending my bro off also felt weird. I was pissed at first when I had to wake up so early in the morning. But as the day went by, I felt nervous for him. I wonder why. I guess it just dawned on me that he's gonna be away for 12 weeks. What if things happen in between?? Looking at his face while we separated at Tekong Ferry terminal, was somewhat sad. He looked as if he was fine but it was kinda awkward, like he just wanted to walk away from us without saying proper goodbyes.
I'm not sure what's wrong with me now. I was fine over all this but suddenly i'm feeling all melancholy. Suddenly I feel like I'm missing my bro, suddenly I'm sad about my gramps.
I guess it doesn't help also that zumsteg's uncle is seriously sick as well. One thing after another. Just one thing after another.
Nothing much I could do. On my part I'll just have to take it one thing at a time.
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3 comments:
Be strong beb. This are awkward moments where no words can't seem to make things right... but say a prayer for the troubled mind for the troubled souls and for the ones you love for in that there are consolations. This is how a family would react in awkward moments but it will definitly bring families closer together even in good and bad times.
I'll pray for your gramps and you brother well being and InsyaAllah, whatever the outcome will be they'llbe LOVED and in good hands.
Take Care Sis and be strong K?:)
Need to understand the Bigger Master Plan, sis. There is Something Better in Return
Thank you bros for your words of encouragement.
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